In a recent episode of The Mandalorian, tiny puppet baby Yoda ate a blue cookie. I don’t watch The Mandalorian, but I am online enough to have seen photos of the tiny puppet baby Yoda eating blue macarons. You can now buy these macarons, called “Nevarro Nummies” from Williams Sonoma. Haha cool! I love macarons hell yeah. Except that they cost $49.95 for a dozen.
io9 kindly did the math for me because I cannot add or divide, and it estimates them to be about $4.17 per cookie. To which I say, you’re out of your goddamn mind. You want 50 bucks for 12 cookies that look like prop food? Eyeball these Hostess rejects and tell me you don’t have concerns:
These cookies look like they’ve had their souls sucked out by a cartoon demon. They look like they spent all summer vacation inside and returned to school pasty while everyone else got tan and hot. They look like they’ve been sitting in your grandpa’s freezer for half of his natural life. They look like they just gave blood and uh oh they better sit down they’re not feeling so good. Sadly, this cookie has passed. It now wanders the Earth in search of vengeance. They look like play food your unusually adept niece made with her remaining Play-Doh. These cookies? Just got devastating news about a high-interest loan they took out against their house. Made y’all these cookies in pottery class but I forgot to add a glaze sorry. These cookies fell below the counter at your local eatery and were served anyway by a teenager just trying to save up for a car.
Look, I can keep going, but I think you get my point, which is, gross. I have paid a lot of money for questionable food my life, like a $4 hot dog from a Times Square cart, but even this is too far for me. They probably taste fine, but I’m of the opinion that you and I — we deserve better.